Parenthood; in the age of technology

                               For Your Amigos Foundation; Authored by Maria Reshma G, August 2020

After watching the recent movie ‘Kapela’ the protagonist kept on haunting me for several days. In that movie, Jessy, a village girl, spends her days helping her mother in stitching. One day when her mother asks her to dial a customer, she accidentally calls the wrong number. On the other side is Vishnu, from Malappuram who picks the call. At first, she starts getting worried and insists to stop calling. Later her perception about him changed and thus begins a new friendship that blooms into love. When Jessy’s parents fix her marriage with Benny, she insists to meet Vishnu. Vishnu was showing a fake love towards Jessy with a bad intention of exploitation. There is an unexpected twist that reveals the darker side of life. Film also portrays the danger in which girls trusting strangers and throws light on sex trafficking. One of the most serious issues young girls facing in society. The mobile phone plays an important role in the film.

Her family is fully controlled by her strict father, to the point where even kids giggling make him angry. Jessie’s younger sister is caught riding pillion with an older boy. She asked for a cycle because her school was far. For Jessie, an outsider like Vishnu was a good chance for freedom. He promises a life in a town like she had earlier imagined. If she was having more freedom in her family to open-up then there won’t be such an incident. Children are unaware of how to handle social media in the beginning; a basic education should be given to them before entering into the world of technology. 

Social media is computer-based technology that facilitates the sharing of ideas, thoughts, and information through the building of virtual networks and communities. Users engage with social media via computer, tablet, or smartphone, often utilizing it for messaging. Many parents worry about the exposure to technology might affect the toddlers' development.

According to a recent poll, 22% of teenagers log on to their favorite social media site more than 10 times a day, and more than half of adolescents log on to a social media site more than once a day. 25% of teenagers now own cell phones, and 25% use them for social media, 54% use them for texting, and 24% use them for instant messaging. Thus, a large part of this generation's social and emotional development is occurring while on the Internet and cell phones. (Clinical Report—The Impact of Social Media on Children, Adolescents, and Families)

Nearly one in five teenagers is spending 4 hours or more online every day. Face book is currently the largest social media site in the world with 2.6 billion monthly active users as of 2020. One of the studies shows that children spending more than three hours a day on social media are twice as likely to suffer from poor mental health. (Social media linked to increased risk of mental health problems)

Positive effects of social media on children

·       Social media helps children to connect with extended family and friends also help to develop better perspectives on various issues.

·       It helps to enhance a child’s knowledge and motivate children to get better at communication and encourages freedom of self-expression.

·       Social media facilitates the development of technical expertise and practical understanding of technology in children.

 Negative effects of social media on children:

·       Social media is a vast platform and there is no control over the scope of information. Such situations can lead to children bumping into obscene or harmful websites that may affect their thinking process.

·       Cyberbullying is another problem affecting social media websites. Cyberbullying can have dangerous and potentially fatal effects.

·        Spending too much time can also affect a child negatively and often lead to social media addiction. Addiction can manifest itself as various symptoms and may even affect a child’s physical health.

Parenting is a process of promoting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Good parenting focuses on developing independence in children and involves a style that considers children's age and stage of development. There are four types of parenting styles, authoritarian or disciplinarian, permissive or indulgent, uninvolved, and Authoritative.

Authoritarian Parenting

• Authoritarian parents use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible and Punishment is common.
• Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child and rules are not explained.
• Parent’s expectations are high with limited flexibility and parents don't allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles.
• Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions aren't valued.

Authoritative Parenting

• Authoritative parents use disciplinary rules and the reasons behind them are explained.
• Communication is frequent and parents are nurturing.
• Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into goals.
• Authoritative parents encourage children to be independent but still place limits on their actions.
• Parents use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior, like praise and reward systems.

Permissive Parenting

• The parent's discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and mostly let children figure problems out on their own.
• Communication is open but parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.
• Expectations are typically minimal or not set by the parents.
• Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don't put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. 
• Children may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don't appreciate authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness.

Uninvolved Parenting

• Parents don't ask children about their school or homework and rarely know about where the child is.
• Parents don't spend much time with their children and give children a lot of freedom.
• Communication is limited and parents offer little nurturing.
• Children tend to perform poorly in school and exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank low in happiness.

An article was written by Gwenn Schurgin O’Keeffe, Kathleen Clarke-Pearson, and Council on Communications and Media in 2011. The title found that ‘The Impact of Social Media on Children, Adolescents, and Families’, describes the risks of youth and children using social media including cyberbullying, online harassment, Sexting, Face book Depression, etc.

In my experience, there are many fraudulent accounts creating for the attack especially to children. When I started facebook I have received many messages from unknown users and I just said to my brother and he advised me not to open those messages. So from my experience children are aware of what to do with the fake messages, so if we are having enough freedom to talk with parents and siblings then we can reduce the risks of attacks.

Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions. Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. (Very Well Family, 4 Types of Parenting Styles And Their Effects On Kids. By Amy Morin, Lcsw (2019)                                  If parents are following Authoritative Parenting it will be most beneficial to children. During these days children hesitate to open up to parents. If children are able to open up everything to parents then to an extent children can be saved from the bad influence of social media platforms. Parents should make sure that children spend quality time on social media websites and reaps positive outcomes. Educate them about the pros and cons of social media.